MY NEW READ!: As a Lady Would Say Revised and Updated: Responses to Life’s Important (and Sometimes Awkward) Situations (Gentlemanners) by Sheryl Shade

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NEW READ! So today I finished As A Lady Would Say Revised and Updated by Sheryl Shade. It is a very easy read and a good conversation starter. Maybe at a party you could read a situation that Shade brings up and ask your guests how he or she would react or if they agree with what Shade says is a good way to respond to the situation at hand. Shade gives her advise and guidance to how you should act in certain situations. As you can see I took a lot of notes on post-its. Some of her ways of acting in certain situations I agreed with and some of them I did not but that’s okay because this is just one person’s opinion of how a lady should act.

One topic she disgusts at least twice in her book is politics and religion. She brings up the situations “When a friend or coworker asks a lady to support a political candidate whom you strongly opposes” and “When someone questions a lady’s patriotism or her candidate or choice.” She says you should respond “Thanks for asking, Renee, but your man(or woman) just isn’t my cup of tea”.  I personally think these situations should never come up because I just thought it was universally known you are not supposed to discuss politics or religion unless it is an actual debate because this can spark intense arguments.

The issue of name forgetting came up and Shade made me feel a little better that I always forget everyone’s name. She says, “When a lady encounters an acquaintance to whom she has been introduced repeatedly and cannot, for the life of her, remember that person’s name…” She tells you to respond, “It’s great seeing you, but you have the advantage on me here, I’d appreciate it if you’d remind me of your name again”.  I always laugh and say “Umm whats your name again? I’m so bad with names”, but her way sounds so much better.  Now I do not feel so bad that I always forget everyone’s name. I almost 100% of the time have to be reintroduced to the person after meeting them for the first time.

Shade mentioned a scenario that actually grossed me out. She states, “When a lady must ask the lady in the next stall in a public restroom fro some toilet paper..”. She says you should say, “Excuse me but there is no toilet tissue in this stall, May I ask you to pass me some, please”. I do not want anyone touching my tissue or passing it under the stall where it can get close  or touch the ground. This just sounded like to many moments for germs to be passed around. Before you go in a stall I would just check first if there’s tissue. If you forget then I would just use the bathroom, flush, and then go to another stall for tissue.

The book was well written and cuts straight to the point. Shade states the situation tells you what not to do, how you should react, and gives an explanation of why you should react that way. The reoccurring theme and message of the book is if you do not have anything nice to say do not say it at all.

I recommend this book for teenagers or young adults. It is a good way to teach women how to have good etiquette and what is expected out of a well put together and well mannered proper woman. As I was reading it I could think of at least five people I would give this book to especially at my job some of them even being mangers! Which shows you today women are not as appropriate as in maybe the 50s,60s, 70s (Stepford Wives time period). Let me know what you guys think!

~Kay ❤

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